If you are anything like me, you struggle with decision making. I’m not talking about where to eat dinner or what movie to watch. Rather, my difficulty comes when trying to make the big decisions.
When attempting to discern between opportunities and options of a more important nature, I often drift between making decisions too quickly, under the guise of “just do something and it will be fine,” and avoiding any sort of decision at all, fearful of a lousy outcome.
In my best moments, I think I hear from the Lord about a particular direction, and I’m able to walk where He is leading, but those are typically few and far between. Most of the time there’s a nagging sense of frustration and angst in me about what I have or have not decided to do.
I am becoming convinced, by the grace of God, that this is because I’ve put too much weight on these so called “big” decisions. There is something in my heart that says, “If you mess this one up, things are going to go badly, and if you get it right, the blessings of God will flow.”
While I know that there is a piece of truth in this statement, I don’t want to be ruled by it. There is a sense in me that because Christ in the garden made the decision that was not easy and not comfortable, He secured for me freedom from being ruled by these kinds of thoughts.
Through Christ’s perfection, even in His decision making, I am free from being enslaved, paralyzed and fearful.
Over the last several weeks, I have learned that I want my life to be marked by faithfulness. There are a million little decisions to be made this week that don’t have the banner of “big” flying over them, and yet many times what is at stake is faithfulness.
Am I going to choose obedience or disobedience? Will I be faithful to the vow I made to my spouse, to love her like Christ loves His church, to cherish her, to die to myself and my preference?
Dream with me about what a life marked by small, faithful decision making would look like. Wouldn’t it be beautiful? I imagine it looking like my wife sitting across from me in 50 years, beautifully marked by the wisdom of years gone by and overwhelmingly thankful that we were enabled to live a full life.