Almost every night before bed, my wife and I pray together and then I say, “I have been faithful to you today, and I will be right here if you need me.” Then I fall fast asleep. I don’t say these words to her because she is filled with anxiety, mistrust or worry. Rather, I started saying this a few years ago as a reminder to Natalie of the promise I made before God, her and a host of people that I would remain faithful. It also serves as a form of accountability for me. I am hers and she is mine (Song of Solomon 6:3). It is under this banner of trust, fidelity and protection that we are able to share the most intimate moments. This is by design (Genesis 2:18-25).
God designed and created the marriage relationship to be the sphere where the joy of sex is to be shared (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). We have all been indoctrinated through our education system, government programs and culture at large about “safe sex” and how to express ourselves sexually in a responsible manner. Biblically speaking, the only “safe” sex is marital sex. Marriage is the banner of protection and care that God designed and placed over sex. Oftentimes, we see marriage as a restriction or limit on our sexual expression; for example, we are told to wait, we are limited to only one sexual partner, etc. The truth is marriage is not a restriction but rather an invitation into joy, intimacy and freedom. Sex is a gift from God, and He gives it the context of marriage because that covenant relationship lovingly provides protection for us.
The foundation of a marriage relationship is ideally built on trust, grace, and faithful-love. These necessary ingredients serve to establish the right environment to live out the three purposes for biblical sex:
If sex is not “protected” in a marriage, then the three purposes for sex are perverted and distorted. We will talk about these purposes more in the coming posts.